11 Things you can do today to reduce anxiety

3. Keeping your breathing calm

When we’re feeling anxious it is because our body has gone into a primal mode where it is preparing us to either run away or fight.

This means that, in particular, our heart rate and breathing rate increases.

Whilst we can’t directly control our heart rate we do and can control our breathing rate.

There are a huge number of different techniques for controlling your breathing, find one that works for you. 

Here’s an example of one.

What to do to calm yourself down:

1. Breathe in slowly for a count of 4 seconds.
2. Hold your breath for a count of 4 seconds without clamping your nose or mouth.
3. Exhale for a count of 4 seconds.
4. Repeat at least 3 times.

4. Remove judgement of your experience

When we’re in times of stress or anxiety it’s very easy to then start berating ourselves because we’re feeling this.

We then feel worse and start kicking the shit out ourselves even more.

And the cycle, or perhaps spiral, continues.

Instead you can simply tell yourself that whatever you’re feeling or thinking is ok.

As I mentioned earlier, your thoughts are just thoughts.

What to do to calm yourself down:

Mentally narrate your experience to yourself without judgement.

For example:
“I’m feeling overwhelmed by everything, and that’s ok”

Or

“I’m thinking that the world is going to end, and that’s ok”

5. Call/Message someone

If you’re really losing your mind and can’t jam a spanner in your own works then get in contact with a loved one.

Calmly tell them that you just need to know that they’re there and that you need to vent.

Often when we speak to people about how we’re feeling they feel as if they have to have some miracle cure or an amazing answer to our issues.

It is important for them to know that them existing and giving you time to vent is all you need. 

What to do to calm yourself down:

Be open and honest with your loved one about how you’re feeling.

6. Brain dump to reduce anxiety

If you can’t or don’t want to speak to a loved one then doing a brain dump is a great way of venting but when you’re by yourself.

The “typical” way to do this is to just write down everything you’re feeling, like a stream of consciousness. It doesn’t have to make sense, it doesn’t have to be well written, you can just write it all out.

Alternatively you can draw, paint, sculpt or do anything that is going to get how you’re feeling out of your head.

This is an exercise in catharsis.

What to do to calm yourself down:

Do a brain dump!

7. Don’t look at the bigger picture

This is a particularly good thing to do if you’re struggling whilst you’re trying to do something.
For example if you have social anxiety and you’re travelling to a social event where you will be spending the evening.

Everything might be worrying you from the getting ready, the travelling there, multiple parts of the event itself and then staying the night.

Viewing this as a whole evening that you’ve got to “get through” is potentially overwhelming if this is a big thing for you to do.

What to do to calm yourself down:

Think of the next small thing that you have to do to move forwards.
If that thing seems to big then break that down.

For example then break it down into first the drive to where you’re going.

If facing that is too much, break that into the just the first 5 minutes of the drive.

And if even that is too much then break it down even further, your first step, opening the door to the car. 

Break it down into the smallest chunks you have to in order to get through this challenging event.

8. Remove the emotion

When we tell people stories we want them to be as exciting, interesting or impactful as possible. 

So what do we do?

When telling the story to people we include strong emotive language to engage the listener to try and get them as involved in the story as possible.

What this is asking you to do is the exact opposite so that you don’t get dragged into your own narrative.

So rather than telling yourself: “Oh my god, my heart is going a million miles an hour and feels like it’s going to explode”

You can calmly tell yourself “I can feel my heart is beating faster”

What to do to calm yourself down:

Become aware of what you’re telling yourself and replace whatever you’re saying with the calmest and least emotive description of your experience as you can.

9. Distract yourself

By concentrating on our anxious feelings and getting drawn into them tends to lead to a downward spiral of feeling.

Instead think about what we can do to distract ourselves. 

Listen to music, play video games, play an instrument, write, draw etc etc.

What to do to calm yourself down:

Whatever you need to do to distract yourself from your anxious feelings.

10. Stop negatively filtering

In cognitive behavioural therapy there is what is known as “faulty thinking”.

There are many different ways in which your thinking can be faulty but one of the most common is negative filtering.

Imagine tipping everything that is going on in your life through a filter where all the positive stuff was kept in the filter and all the negative stuff dripped through.

Negative filtering is when we allow our lives and feelings to be defined by the stuff that has dripped through. The positive stuff is all left behind.

When we’re feeling down and anxious it can be really tricky to find anything positive going on and I honestly get that. However there is always a positive to be found even if it is absolutely miniscule.

If you can only find the tiniest positive then that’s where you start.

You can build on this.

What to do to calm yourself down:

Start by asking yourself “Am I ignoring the positive things that are going on?”
See what answer comes up.

If you’re nervous about something that you’re doing then ask “Why am I doing the this?”

It’s rare that we find ourselves doing something that has zero good things to come out of it or else why would we be putting ourselves through it?

And if you are in an instance whereby you’re doing something that has zero positive things to come out of it at all, what then?

Tell yourself that feeling down and anxious is a perfectly legitimate response to doing something with nothing positive to come out of it.

11. It’s not forever

Whatever you’re doing and whatever you’re feeling literally cannot last forever.

If, for example, you can’t wait to be under a blanket at home with a cuppa then work out how long it’ll be until that can happen.

It’s probably not THAT long and it reminds you that the thoughts and feelings you’re having are finite.

What to do to calm yourself down:

Work out how long it’ll be until you’ll be “safe” again.

Think about the benefits of being there, e.g. warm, safe, calm etc.

Then tell yourself “I will be feeling [insert benefits] in just [how long it’ll be until you’re “safe”]

Conclusion on reducing anxiety

I’m very aware as a previous anxiety sufferer that these techniques might feel difficult or impossible to do.

It can also be hard to remind yourself of them when you’re feeling very anxious.

However isn’t it really difficult and impossible to feel as awful as anxious feelings make you feel?

Isn’t it worth digging deep and using one of these techniques to help you?

What is the worst thing that could happen by trying one of them?

I’ll tell you.

It could not work for you this time. 

This doesn’t make you a failure and it doesn’t mean it won’t work for you in the future.

There is no downside to putting the effort in.

But if it does work, then what?

It proves to you that the anxious feelings don’t have control over you and you’re able to overcome them.

How incredible would that feel?

Want a structured way to reduce and control your anxiety?

If you’ve reached the point where you’d like to turn around and show anxiety who’s boss then my online anxiety course “From Anxiousness to Awesomeness” will be perfect for you.

It is a do-at-your-own-pace 4-week course which will teach you a variety of different techniques that will show you how to reduce anxiety symptoms, control the thoughts that you have and change how anxiety impacts on your life.

Best of all at £40 it costs less than a single therapy session.

To read more click the button below.